A while ago, I wrote this snarky little piece about how to keep your single friends and family members around and happy over the holidays. I was flattered when I got a request to write something similar for Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately, I couldn’t think of anything. Then I realized it’s because if you have a problem with being single on Valentine’s Day, that’s exactly what it is: your problem.
You’re single and you’re not happy about it? Then do something to change it! Don’t piss on the love parade just because you’re not in it. If you’re single, accept that it is your choice in some way. Don’t argue with me. Stop playing the victim. It is in some way a reflection of the choices you’ve made in your life. If you’re not happy with them, start thinking of what you might need or want to do differently from this point forward.
I’m allowed to say this because I’m also single. I, too, would like to be in a loving relationship. The difference is that it doesn’t bother me to see couples around me. In fact, it makes me happy. The good ones inspire me, like my role model couple as I like to call them. You know who you are! The dysfunctional ones remind me of why I’d rather be single than settle. I know that my choices have led me to where I am now, and I’m pretty happy with this act of my life. If you’re not, then do something about that quick! Because who wants to partner up with that? Just sayin’…
Other people around you make you feel insecure about being single, you say? Maybe you need to stop hanging out with the asshats to whom my original post was dedicated.
“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with assholes.” –William Gibson
If you realize that this is the case, don’t worry if the door hits them in the arse on the way out of your life forever.
Before you make any sudden moves though, you might want to make sure that little voice in your head isn’t really actually just a little voice in your head. Is it that your friends and family make you feel badly about being single or is it that you do? Whether you need to make some adjustments to your social life or to your inner life, notice that there’s still the same common denominator: you.
I’m not writing this to be a jerk to you or make your VD any worse (pun intended). I’m writing this because if Valentine’s Day is triggering for you, I’d love to see you resolve that for the sake of your own happiness. After all, you’re probably going to have to deal with it on some level at least once a year for the rest of your life.
Things could always be worse. You could be in a relationship with someone who takes this “holiday” seriously and wants to go out to a painfully crowded Valentine’s Day dinner at a chain restaurant every year. You might end up looking back at these days quite fondly. Life has a dry sense of humor sometimes.
So when your coupled friends start getting all schmoopy on you, be happy for them, ya big jealous jerk, or at least be grateful for the last bullet you dodged. Go home, savor the silence, and enjoy a glass of whatever the hell it is that you enjoy! Have the remote control to yourself while you still can because one day someone will think you and your valentine are as annoying as fuck, too!
Photo: Flickr/Donnie Ray Jones